Ask before using a contact’s name to imply a connection in outreach. A conversation, an introduction and a formal employee referral are different things. Describe only the relationship and permission you actually have.
Identify the level of permission
| What the contact said | What it supports | What it does not support |
|---|---|---|
| “You could speak with the healthcare team” | Researching that team | Claiming a referral |
| “You may mention our conversation” | An accurate, limited mention | Claiming the contact recommends hiring you |
| “I’ll introduce you” | Waiting for or accepting the introduction | Contacting everyone on their team in their name |
| “I submitted an employee referral” | Describing that confirmed action accurately | Assuming an interview or offer is guaranteed |
A referral process varies by employer. If the formal process is unclear, ask what action was taken rather than choosing the strongest-sounding word.
Ask a specific permission question
Fictional message:
Thank you again for discussing your coverage work with me. I’m planning to contact [person/team] to learn more about [specific topic]. Would you be comfortable with me mentioning that our conversation prompted the outreach? I would describe it as a conversation, not a referral.
This gives the person a real choice and clarifies what you intend to say. If they do not respond, do not treat silence as permission. You can still write a relevant cold email without their name.
Write the permitted version accurately
With explicit permission: “After a conversation with [name] about how your group approaches industry research, I wanted to ask about…”
Without permission: “I’m researching how healthcare coverage teams evaluate…”
Avoid “strongly recommended,” “referred me,” or “said you would help” unless those statements are true and authorized. Do not place the contact’s name in the subject line merely to increase opens if it misrepresents their involvement.
Keep a small permission record
In your private outreach notes, record the date, what was permitted, the intended recipient and any boundaries. Permission for one introduction is not blanket permission for a mass email campaign. Do not publish the exchange as social proof or share contact details beyond the agreed purpose.
Harvard’s guide to making connections is a general source for professional networking. The permission ladder here is our practical framework, not an employer’s referral policy or evidence of a conversion advantage.
If an introduction is actually offered, use the forwardable-note example. For outreach without a connection, start with the cold-email guide. Use the outreach-volume guide to keep the process manageable enough to honor individual permissions.